SAD Because it is Dark and Gloomy

With winter in full swing, it is no wonder that things are getting a little dark and gloomy. I have always felt the Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) during the winter, but this year it seems to have hit me like a ton of bricks. I have my theories as to why: between foster dogs, big (good!) changes in my life draining the energy, and my usual blend of over caffeinated and under slept.  All in all, I have very few spoons to spread across the things I need to do!

SAD is one of those conditions that people bandy about without really knowing the symptoms. Myself included. This is what the NHS website lists for the symptoms.

Symptoms of SAD can include:

• a persistent low mood
• a loss of pleasure or interest in normal everyday activities
• irritability
• feelings of despair, guilt and worthlessness
• feeling lethargic (lacking in energy) and sleepy during the day
• sleeping for longer than normal and finding it hard to get up in the morning
• craving carbohydrates and gaining weight

Persistent low mood? Check. Loss of pleasure - certainly for Christmas films. (But I do believe that is thanks to Netflix's poor selection. Where are my Muppets?!) Irritability? Check. Despair, guilt, worthlessness? Thankfully, no. I had enough of that last year. Lethargic and sleepy in the day? Check and double check! Sleeping for longer and difficult to get out of bed? Oh yes indeedy. Craving carbs and gaining weight? Always. (Especially hard to curb at this time of year.)

I think it is safe to say that I am being moderately affected by this condition. The exact cause is not 100% confirmed, but there are theories. Too much melatonin being produced, a hormone which makes you sleepy. A lack of serotonin thanks to the reduced sunlight, the mood stablising hormone. Or finally, your body clock being out of whack thanks to the lack of sunlight, once again. So a nice jumble of reasons why you are feeling blue right now.

One thing I find which can really boost the SAD is how dark it gets and how early. The light starts fading about 3pm and my body clock tells me it is bedtime and I must wind down. All it does is leave me over tired by dinner time and then wide awake from powering through it when I finally do go to bed. And then the cycle continues. There is only so much coffee one can drink to feel functional!

The big change in my life is mostly finalising this weekend. Certainly the heavy lifting aspect anyway. (Don't get me started on the anxiety of things yet to do, though!) So fingers crossed, I will be able to reclaim some of the spoons dedicated to that and feel less flat. I really want to enjoy this Christmas and I am rapidly running out of time to make my gifts! Fingers crossed I will have the time and energy to do that after this weekend. 

Between the SAD and the expectation to spend, spend, spend, I kind of do really want some retail therapy. Most definitely online though! I cannot bear the excess of people shopping at this time of year at the best of times; but add in SAD and pandemic anxiety, every violated llama is going to trigger the worst in me.  It's been a hard year and I have done so well with my mental health, I really want to treat myself. Largely to all the board games. And pretty house things. And all the things I have said I am allowed to buy once I have an income. Just need to get that income!

Something that does really help with dealing with SAD is getting outside to do some exercise. Being dogless presently, this is much harder than it should be. I do miss our daily walks. But as I am also putting on weight I should really lace up my trainers and get back to running. Weirdly, I prefer running in the winter. I find it much easier to warm up in the shower after a winter run than to cool down by any means I can after a summer run. The cold doesn't hamper your running as much as the warm does. Certainly for me, anyway. Maybe I can set a few spoons aside for that.

The other hope is that with exercising again, I will be a good kind of tired and hopefully sleep better. For the last few months I have fallen into the bad habits of sleeping late because I cannot get to sleep at night, all exacerbated by the previously mentioned sleep cycle. The combination of the two make it very difficult to take good steps towards sorting my sleep cycle out. (If anyone has any tips beyond "get out of bed early" I am all ears!)

Winter is difficult. Sometimes I wonder if we would not be better off hibernating. I honestly wonder if it is the only way I'll wake up feeling well rested! Hibernating would mean missing out on those picture perfect frosty mornings, evenings curled up with hot chocolates, and the amazing wintery full moons. But if we did, SAD would not be a thing. Being SAD because it is dark and gloomy is a small price to pay for the amazing things to experience over winter. The Northern Lights are on my bucket list - I wouldn't get to see those if I was hibernating!

All in all, it's about fining ways to cope and having a good support network who understands. I am very lucky to have one of those and I am learning the ways of coping. One of the best coping mechanisms I have come to use over this past year is, be kind to yourself. Be understanding of what your body is telling you. If you are having a bad day or a blue day, do not beat yourself up over it. They happen. Be kind to yourself and it is less likely to persist beyond that day.

So if you are feeling SAD at all this winter, be kind to yourself.

How do you brighten your SAD days? How are you kind to yourself? What are your plans for coping with the winter blues? Lemme know, below!

Listening to: Christmas Eyes

 

Edit: Since writing this we have a new foster dog, so yay for one less thing to be blue about!