Battling Mid-Week Blues

 

 

There is no denying, I am in a much better head space than I was pre-pandemic. You know, the before times, when we did stuff. Generally, my mental health is pretty good, and I rarely have to deal with episodes of sheer hopelessness. I am a happy mermaid.

But, that is not to say that I don't get blue and spells of melancholy. Sometimes it's the weather bringing me down, others I am overwhelmed by all the life that is happening, and sometimes it is just mid-week burn out. Having a job does that to you. It is nonsense that I have to re-adjust to and, well, that is why I am here today.

I need some good mid-week blues coping mechanisms.

Because I turn to food and that is, as you would expect, making me chonky. I try so hard to be body positive, but sometimes I catch a glimpse of myself and just see a tree trunk. Part of my brain says I am always going to look a little stocky, it's a side effect of the massive knockers and being short. But I am losing the curves I liked and getting new ones.

So far, the things I have tried either haven't been done with enough gusto or are completely counteracted by the fact I still buy biscuits. I guess that' the first thing. Stop buying biscuits.

I want to get back into yoga again. Not necessarily in a class, because I don't reay vibe with the yoga en-masse approach. I am far too critical of myself and find myself comparing how I do the moves to everyone else, instead of losing myself in the mindfulness. For me, it is a much more mindful experience doing it at home, with my own choice of music, freedom to fart, and no high standard to not meet. It becomes much more about listening to my body and moving with the flow of music. 

I just, need to actually do it. When do you integrate yoga into your schedule? I would love some tips. Obviously, it is different for everyone - for me, I will not exercise after I have eaten. Most activities I can do a short while after eating, like yoga or swimming. I will not run at all if food has passed my lips; I ran 10K on a single jelly baby, and that bad boy repeated on my from 3K onwards. Food and running, I cannot do. The nausea is too much for me.

This makes me hesitant to put execise in my evening routine because who wants to do downward dog after eating noodles? Then there's the getting changed and the figuring out where it slots in. Do I do it before dinner to avoid the food thing? But then dinner is being delayed for Human. Do I do it while dinner is cooking after I have done the dishes? But then that means Human is always cooking... It's complicated and I need at least an extra three hours of the day.

Of course, all this worry and anxiety then triggers something in my mind that tells me, "Well, this is just impossible." But it shouldn't be! It's half an hour of me time and self care. Why can I not carve this time out for myself?

Another thing I would like to try is dancing again. I loved dancing, for the most part, when I was a kid. Ballet, tap, street jazz, disco, rock 'n' roll - I did it all. And I was pretty good. It is rare that I experience bodily awareness, but when I danced it was just something I had. Perhaps I should dig out the Just Dance again. Or pull my finger out and actually google dance classes in my area. 

The point of this long ramble, is to say, I need to do more exercise. Try to tap into those endorphins from activity as well as generally feeling better about my shape. It's just the starting and maintaining that I am struggling with. Could also use some of that oomph on finishing the decorating and keeping up with the house work, but those are rambles for another time.