Festive Funk

I am struggling with Christmas this year. Thanks to the atrocious state of my mental health I have no inspiration for gifts, I'm anxious about celebrations, and the whole thing is resulting in stress heart burn. But one thing that I am not struggling with is the Christmas music. This year I am loving the tunes! (Except Last Christmas and Mariah Carey, there will never be love in my heart for those two.) I have been rocking out to the Robbie Williams Christmas album, listening to old favourites, and enduring those slightly questionable cover versions of the old favourites.

So what better way to get into the festive cheer by celebrating my favourite Christmas songs! But Emily, you did this last year, I hear you yell at the screen. Yes, yes I did. But I only listed four and one of them was Baby Shark.

My partner and I have been discussing our number one favourite Christmas songs recently. Shakin' Steven's Merry Christmas Everyone always comes to mind for me, but then the playlist will play another banger or I'll remember another that I remember rocking to as a kid. So while that is my ultimate favourite, I do have a top ten of beloved Christmas songs. And here they are, in no particular order! (Not including aforementioned Shakin' Stevens or any from last year's list. Because then I would need more than ten.)

Idina Menzel & Michael Bublé - Baby, It's Cold Outside

Idina Menzel is a goddess. I have thought so since well before the magnificent Let It Go. So when I found out she was doing a version of one of my favourite Christmas songs, it was like fate. Bublé is a bit meh (his albums make great fodder for background gastro pub ambience, but drive serving staff up the wall). But this song is fun and the video is beautiful. The song's message has come under fire in recent years as it can be read as an aggressive male trying to get his own way. But also, it's cold outside and dangerous conditions to drive in? Also also, surely we should take more issue with the society that shames a woman for staying out unsupervised? It's an old song and stuff released now is way more questionable! (I'm looking at you, Blurred Lines.)

I got side tracked there... I like this song. And for this list, that is what matters.

Elton John - Step Into Christmas

For me, this song is just fun. It's cheery, it's jolly, and it's everything Christmas should be. While some of the slower Christmas songs are beautiful, this one never fails to make me feel merry. I love a good funky, upbeat song. It makes me want to get up and dance - which is similar to how the Shakin' Stevens song makes me feel. So by association alone it's great but it is also a bop.

Chris Rea - Driving Home For Christmas

In case you were wondering which was my partner's favourite Christmas song is, it's this one. He has good taste. This song emits that warm, fuzzy feeling of the anticipation of spending time with loved ones. That "Ooh, I'm nearly there and ready to get into the full festive spirit!" feeling. You know the one I mean. You've just done your last shift before Christmas. You're visiting the extended family and friends for gift swapping and merriment. That feeling. Or, the one you're supposed to feel. Not the crippling anxiety it's given me this year. So you know, it reminds me of how I'm meant to feel right now and helps to drown out the bad for just a little while.

South Park - Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel

This entire album was a Christmas staple when I was growing up. December 1st, the CD player in the kitchen got changed to Mr Hankey's Christmas Classics - clean version because it is just better - and would be played every morning when getting ready for school. And every evening when cooking dinner. And just during the day, for reasons. This was before digital radios and iPod docks, where you could play a mix. It was this one in the kitchen and a different compilation of Christmas tunes in the living room. We listened to this album so much, everyone had parts to sing. Because, yes, a copy of it was in the car too. I was always Stan.

I chose this one over the rest, because there were so many parts in this song that everyone got a line. Even my dad. But honestly, the whole album is full of classics and bangers. Christmas Time In Hell, It Happened in Sun Valley, Swiss Colony Beef Log... Just to name a few. And I honestly do not know the real words to O Holy Night, so I sing Jesus was born and so I get presents at the top of my lungs.

Wizzard - I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday

Is it really Christmas if you haven't heard this song? It is borderline creepy at times (Are you ready children? You know the line I mean) but it is a classic. And it has a key change in it! Who doesn't love a good key change? Or is that just my family? I think it does. I was supposed to listen out for it, but got distracted.

A good Christmas songs are repetitive so you learn the lines quickly, despite their limited air time. The best Christmas songs are the one which do this, but with silly voices later in the song. Some of my most cherished festive memories are where we sit Charis at the piano and make her play all the songs for us to sing along with. We always go too fast, we always mess the words up, and we always do the voices. It's a miracle the neighbours don't complain. Or join in for that matter. (The way I've said this makes it sound like we chain Charis to the piano and force her, she is a willing participant.)

Nightmare Before Christmas - What's This?

This is my favourite Christmas movie. And my favourite Hallowe'en movie. Honestly, I listen to this all year round. Original or Fall Out Boy version, it does not matter. I love them both. I will sing the Fall Out Boy version over Charis playing the original version on the piano. And again, the whole album is great! Oogie Boogie's Song, Jack's Lament, Sally's Song - Danny Elfman, I bow down to your genius.

Once again, it is a family favourite. My sister and her husband were Jack and Sally for Hallowe'en this year, to honour the fact some of the lyrics were included in their wedding ceremony this year. What can I say? We like to be spooky and festive!

Slade - Merry Xmas Everybody

Merry Xmas Everybody is the OG classic Christmas song. How can you not love this song? One year, after buying a recording deck, we decided it would be a great idea to make a family Christmas tape to gift to all friends and loved ones. It was us and the cousins performing various Christmas classics. I would have been eleven when this was made, so that made the youngest of us five. You can imagine how adorable that was in places. There was even an original rap. I do not know why I am willingly sharing this information, but hey ho!

Anyway, the stand out favourite of this mix tape was the family cover of Merry Xmas Everyone. Everybody got a line, I got to yell It's Chrissstttttmmmmaaaasssssss, and there were some hilarious hiccoughs were bits got rerecorded. While Slade's is very much better than ours, it does remind me of the fun times recording and listening to our version. (Ours is better than Steps' version though, and I have no shame in saying that!)

Dean Martin - Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

I am a fan of the old timey jazz songs. Louis Prima is one of my favourite singers. Louis Armstrong's 'Zat You Santa Claus only just missed out on this list. This one made it on purely on the fact I can play it on the guitar. My sisters and I have busked this one at a couple of Christmas markets in the past. And the message is nice - why go outside in the grotty weather when you can be warm inside with the one you love.

Also, it is hilarious when you fluff up the second verse and say "I've got some porn for copping" instead of "I've got some corn for popping". Just me?

The Pogues & Kirsty McCall - Fairytale of New York

How could I not include this song? I'm sure my sisters would call me crazy for this not being my number one all time favourite song - but it gets enough love from them for that. But is it a fantastic song. And another great one to sing at the piano. I only know Kirsty's bit and I can nearly do the harmonies.It's just great that a song with so many insults in it can also be such a loving song. I kept them with me babe, and put them with my own. Can't make it all alone, I've built my dreams around you. How much would you love for someone to say that to you? That is relationship goals right there.

Snow White - Holly Jolly Christmas

This last song is actually awful but that is why I love it. I had never heard this song before I bought a Disney Princess Christmas album to bulk up a twofer deal on Disney albums. The whole album is so bad, but this one is on another level. It is sung in that old timey warble that was popular at the beginning of spoken films and it is shrill. But, it is so much fun to do! I used to torment my fellow barstaff on long Christmas shifts with it because it never failed to be entertaining, despite how horrid it sounds. (Especially when I do it.) I realise this is a very niche appreciation of this song, but whatever. It's my list!

What's in your top ten Christmas song list? Can't recall any of mine or just desperate to hear the Snow White one? Well, look no further, have a playlist! Including last year's picks too.

Listening to: 100 Greatest Christmas Songs Ever